Content © 2012-2017 by American IronHorse Owners Organization.  Use of AIH Logo Licensed by American Ironhorse, LLC
Nut Hatch Memories This one isn’t bike related except that the memory was jogged when I was watching a Sturgis Documentary.  You see, there was this unusual individual on the show who reminded me of someone a little left of center… well, you’ll see.  By the way, don’t tell me I am insensitive.  I am fully aware of that and yes, I am going to hell for what I am about to tell you, but this was funny and I am going to share. Back in the early ‘80’s, I was working as a helper for my girlfriend’s father along with this other guy, Steve.  We were doing some remodeling work for the state hospital – yes, that’s right: the booby hatch, the laughing academy, the fruit ranch, the loony bin.  One of the original, post civil war buildings housed the worst insanity cases and was built in a curve such that the full moon could never shine in the windows.  You see, the architects didn’t want the rubber room rangers any crazier than necessary.  The facility is closed now but when we were there patients wandered the hospital grounds freely, like a collection of zombies in pajamas, walking around muttering to themselves.  I felt bad for them because everyone has a story and theirs couldn’t have been a very happy one.  To be honest, it was surreal being surrounded by all that madness.  Kind of creepy, too…  You can’t help but think that if you stayed long enough, some of it would stick to you, too.  Sort of like the craziness of being married… We parked in front of the building in which we were working and got our gear together.  As we walked up the steps to the entrance there was a guy sitting on the steps.  I don’t know exactly what his condition could have been but it manifested itself as a combination of Tourettes Syndrome and severe stuttering while making all these weird hand motions.  His stream of halting invective wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular; he just sort of looked off to one side while loudly proclaiming “Sh… SH…sh…SHIT!  D…d… d…ddd….  DAMN!”  Which he kept repeating along with the rest of the seven words you can’t say on television (and a few original creations) over and over again, all the while wildly waving his arms around.  The man was, as the Brits would say, “completely off his chump!”  We went past him into the building to get set up.  After a while Steve was sent out to retrieve something from the truck and a minute later the boss sent me out to get something else. I will never forget what I saw as I walked out the building as long as I live.  The Tourettes guy was still there in all his raving glory and opposite him sat Steve doing the exact same thing!  Now there were two stuttering Tourettes guys like a couple of insane bookends at the bottom of the steps waving their arms around and cursing.  Steve was really getting into it, gesticulating, stuttering and saying “Sh…Sh…SHIT!  B-B-B-B- BITCH!  Fu…Fu….,” etc.  He obviously thought it was just him and Tourettes guy until I started howling with laughter.  He immediately stopped imitating the guy and gave me that busted/shocked/embarrassed look – you know, the same one you get when someone walks in while you’re masturbating?  That look did it.  Now I am on the ground, tears streaming from my eyes and laughing so hard that it’s all I can do to keep from peeing my pants.  Steve is pissed off because he got busted making fun of the mentally handicapped and with his head down is grumbling “Something…, jerk…, something…, asshole…”  Adding to the hilarity is the fact that at that moment he truly looked just like one of the inmates!  Meanwhile, T-guy hasn’t missed a beat, still cursing away in his own little world.  Hopefully, the poor guy never even knew we were there.
August 25, 2012
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ORGANIZATION ORGANIZATION OWNERS OWNERS For All American Ironhorse Motorcycle Owners
Fat Max
© 2012-2017   American IronHorse Owners Organization Use of AIH Logo Licensed by American Ironhorse, LLC 
Nut Hatch Memories This one isn’t bike related except that the memory was jogged when I was watching a Sturgis Documentary.  You see, there was this unusual individual on the show who reminded me of someone a little left of center… well, you’ll see.  By the way, don’t tell me I am insensitive.  I am fully aware of that and yes, I am going to hell for what I am about to tell you, but this was funny and I am going to share. Back in the early ‘80’s, I was working as a helper for my girlfriend’s father along with this other guy, Steve.  We were doing some remodeling work for the state hospital – yes, that’s right: the booby hatch, the laughing academy, the fruit ranch, the loony bin.  One of the original, post civil war buildings housed the worst insanity cases and was built in a curve such that the full moon could never shine in the windows.  You see, the architects didn’t want the rubber room rangers any crazier than necessary.  The facility is closed now but when we were there patients wandered the hospital grounds freely, like a collection of zombies in pajamas, walking around muttering to themselves.  I felt bad for them because everyone has a story and theirs couldn’t have been a very happy one.  To be honest, it was surreal being surrounded by all that madness.  Kind of creepy, too…  You can’t help but think that if you stayed long enough, some of it would stick to you, too.  Sort of like the craziness of being married… We parked in front of the building in which we were working and got our gear together.  As we walked up the steps to the entrance there was a guy sitting on the steps.  I don’t know exactly what his condition could have been but it manifested itself as a combination of Tourettes Syndrome and severe stuttering while making all these weird hand motions.  His stream of halting invective wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular; he just sort of looked off to one side while loudly proclaiming “Sh… SH…sh…SHIT!  D…d… d…ddd….  DAMN!”  Which he kept repeating along with the rest of the seven words you can’t say on television (and a few original creations) over and over again, all the while wildly waving his arms around.  The man was, as the Brits would say, “completely off his chump!”  We went past him into the building to get set up.  After a while Steve was sent out to retrieve something from the truck and a minute later the boss sent me out to get something else. I will never forget what I saw as I walked out the building as long as I live.  The Tourettes guy was still there in all his raving glory and opposite him sat Steve doing the exact same thing!  Now there were two stuttering Tourettes guys like a couple of insane bookends at the bottom of the steps waving their arms around and cursing.  Steve was really getting into it, gesticulating, stuttering and saying “Sh…Sh…SHIT!  B-B-B-B- BITCH!  Fu…Fu….,” etc.  He obviously thought it was just him and Tourettes guy until I started howling with laughter.  He immediately stopped imitating the guy and gave me that busted/shocked/embarrassed look – you know, the same one you get when someone walks in while you’re masturbating?  That look did it.  Now I am on the ground, tears streaming from my eyes and laughing so hard that it’s all I can do to keep from peeing my pants.  Steve is pissed off because he got busted making fun of the mentally handicapped and with his head down is grumbling “Something…, jerk…, something…, asshole…”  Adding to the hilarity is the fact that at that moment he truly looked just like one of the inmates!  Meanwhile, T-guy hasn’t missed a beat, still cursing away in his own little world.  Hopefully, the poor guy never even knew we were there.
August 25, 2012
Want to contact Fat Max? email Fat Max ...
ORGANIZATION ORGANIZATION OWNERS OWNERS
Fat Max